At crap computer lab at crap university after eating crap canteen food after crap lecture (massa). yesterday night, I snuggled up next to Tia and she told me that a friend of a friend died in a horrible accident, he was playing with his brother, playing with fuel, and a lighted match fell into the concoction. She told me she remembers Yasmin, her best friend, using her mobile to phone him, she had a big crush on him. "Why do these things happen to some people and not to others, it's not fair! His father and his other brother also died, it's like they have some kind of curse." She couldn't sleep, was feeling really afraid all night. I'm glad for our dynamic, though - it's like she depends on me for some kind of calm head-talk, like I'm her intellectual vent, hehe. At least I'd like to think so
Thinking about death, the furthest I remember is when I was still living in Serbia. In Baba Tonka's (paternal grandmum's) flat, there was a televised funeral. I remember feeling really angry at the idea of death seeping in, like it was a very rude intruder. I didn't want that feeling and I expected it to know that I didn't want it, so I found it very bold and irritating that it still decided to invade me..the weather was cloudy and I remember this huge rock and somebody holding a big red sash...
iPod is still charging since yesterday, wonder if I should be worried about it. I'm really sensitive to the weather and it seems my moods are just as fickle because of it - I felt silly for carrying my coat around today but after Post-Colonial Novel it started raining so I was vindicated. Woke up feeling like crap, even though I woke up late. My muscles feel athrophied and it's like there's this soft, spongy barrier between me and anything else. I made a solemn vow not to try cheer up cos of the weather this time around, because that just puts more pressure on it. Besides, with my moods being so erratic it would be pointless anyway, even if I go with the flow it'll all be ever-changing...
Got some good comics from the shop last Saturday. Among them were two issues of this indie, 'Vagabonds' - the 2nd one had these really good vignettes and even though a lot of them are political/social they are good, enjoyable and quirky in their own right. I'm mulling over my views on the engaged vs. art-for-art's sake thing. I still dislike anybody who vehemently advocates that art should be 'of some use' and politically engaged all the time, but if you manage to weave it in, well an good. Just read a bit of today's 'Bad Signal' (warren ellis' e-mail blog-thing):

"President Bush's friend Pastor Ted Haggard fucks men while taking crystal meth. Isn't that perfect?" - I can so imagine that being a Transmetropolitan episode for example, a fucked-up, stimulating tale of political cover-ups and an examination of social mores/taboos...
Lecture soon. Philosophical anthropology. Not sure why I'm going, I tell myself it's because I need at least a buoy, I need to at least have a vague idea about what's going on, becaue I'm lost otherwise. Enjoyed getting into Yeats with Dav yesterday though, finally felt like I'm touching on to something academic. Hopefully I'll finish Joyce during reading week, and I'll be set and voraciously finish the rest. It's like I need that appetite back, something I love and pride myserlf with having, but it's being squashed with work, with the weather and with illness.